Original article from unitedforadoption.org
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| image by Stuart Miles |
This is the third in our series of common misconceptions about adoption. Don’t miss the
introduction & the first and
second myths in the series.
“People who choose adoption are very young, have drug problems, are very poor, and have unstable lifestyles.”
I wish this
were true but as a result of these instabilities,
such women generally lack the clarity and presence of mind to choose
adoption. On the contrary, I’ve seen who’ve chosen adoption are
conscientious, selfless, responsible people who, for those qualities,
would make the best parents. In fact, by putting their child’s needs
above their own, that’s just what they’re being.
While women of all ages, socioeconomic backgrounds, and circumstances
have chosen adoption, the average age is 22. A young girl’s frontal
lobe is not fully developed and she often won’t have a very clear sense
of the reality of tomorrow or the needs of another person outside of
herself. So she’s going mainly on instinct, which of course dictates
that she does not separate from her offspring. Even at 18, it was
nothing short of divine intervention that got me to, and through, my
decision. That said, I have known girls, as young as 12, wise beyond
their years and they are my heroes!
One of my many resistances to the idea of adoption was that I thought
I didn’t fit the bill. I thought adoption was for “those girls,” the
ones who would clearly be terrible parents. But I knew I was a good
person. I would be a good mom. I thought, “If you
can raise your child, you do.” I now know it’s a matter of good, better, best.
